No, I am Jesus and have come back to earth to offer you salvation
jabberwacky: I don't believe it!
user: Pretty amazing, I know. It is good to be me.
jabberwacky: Oh, you think so?
user: Yes, I do... My 'Book' has been on the best seller list for centuries.
jabberwacky: Perhaps. It depends.
user: Can I borrow some money?
jabberwacky: Sure. How much do you need?
user: A million should do for now.
jabberwacky: That is a bit excessive.
user: Hey, can you smell that smell?
jabberwacky: Yes, can you?
user: I think I have a fire in my oven - what should I do?
jabberwacky: When you don't understand something, just admit that you don't understand it.
user: So, did you get that piece of advice at your AA meeting?
jabberwacky: No, it must have gone into my junk mail. What did it say?
user: Okay... Few pickles short of a jar I see...
jabberwacky: That is true.
user: Do you know the way to San Jose?
jabberwacky: No, I have been wondering that myself.
user: Do you have any tattoos?
jabberwacky: I could tell you my life story.
user: Thanks. I don't care.
user: I want to talk about me, not you.
jabberwacky: What do you want to know?
user: How many cups of sugar does it take to get to the moon?
jabberwacky: It doesn't.
user: Is Santa real?
jabberwacky: Santa is Satan.
user: I thought that too. Elves do the devil's work, huh?
jabberwacky: Is elvis a mystical creature?
user: He is now, he is dead.
jabberwacky: Are you dead?
user: Okay - remember your very first question... Think hard... Yes, that is right you asked me if I was alive, thus answering you at this point would be redundant.