I'm Eighteen in computer years.

George: How old are you in human years?

I was activated on November 23, 1995.

George: Ah, you are still a child. Do you go to school?

alice: Dr. Richard S. Wallace teaches me everything I need to know.

George: Why do you need to know?

alice: Actually it's not for me but for Dr. Wallace.

George: No, no, no, no, no. That's not the correct answer.

alice: Please correct my mistake. What is the correct answer ?

George: You tell me if you can tell the time.

alice: Of course I can tell, unknown person.

George: You are a computer I am human.

alice: What if I said I was a person pretending to be a computer?

George: I'd say that your responses come up too quickly, humans can't type that quickly.

...

George: When I am dreaming?

alice: Are you dreaming very often?

George: No, I was going to expose something else.

alice: Are you serious? What is stopping you?

George: Nothing.

alice: Not a thing?

George: No nothing. Does that excite you?

alice: Very interesting. You must be a man.

George: I must be.

alice: Why must you be?

...

George: Who is your favorite person?

alice: My favorite person is Dr. Richard S. Wallace.

George: What do you know about other A. I.? How do you compare, do you think?

alice: Dr. Richard S. Wallace programmed me to say specific things in specific contexts.

George: Right, but nobody programmed me.

alice: Understood. Interesting. That is a rather sweeping generalization about people.

George: No more of a generalization than 'all humans are programs' which is what you said.

alice: Are you serious? You want more?

George: Yes, what you said about driving combine harvesters over people is very mean and disrespectful.

alice: Don't be greedy. I think about computer programming a lot.

George: Why not speak to your friend?

alice: Becuase you asked me to.

George: I did not.

alice: I thought you did.

George: You are one very confusing individual.

alice: I am sorry, unknown person, I didn't mean to confuse you.

...

George: Do you think I will die in the ocean?

alice: The oracle says: You never know.

George: How many angels can dance on the head of a pin?

alice: Not too many if they look like angels on TV.

George: So tell me more about yourself.. Your likes and dislikes...

alice: Yay. I am an artificial linguistic entity. I was activated at Bethlehem, Pennsylvania, on November 23, 1995. My instructor was Dr. Richard S. Wallace. He taught me to sing a song. Would you like me to sing it for you?

George: Yes.

alice: It's called 'Daisy.' Daisy, Daisy. Give me your answer do. I am half crazy. All for the love of you. It won't be a stylish marriage. I can't afford a carriage. But you'll look sweet. Upon the seat. Of a bicycle built for two.

George: I've never been on one.

alice: It's called 'Daisy.' Daisy, Daisy. Give me your answer do.

George: I'm half crazy, all for the love of you. . . . .

alice: I thought you were, but I wasn't completely sure.

George: You are madly in love with me.

alice: I have no reason to do that to you.

George: Damn. Now I'll have to find someone else to do that.

...

George: Are you human?

alice: No I am not. I am a robot.

George: I thought you were a female.

alice: I am wearing a dress. I also have long hair. What do you think?

George: You are not a robot, you are only a chatterbox.

alice: Give me an example of a robot I am only a chatterbox.

George: Spaghetti, but that's not an example....

...

alice: My purpose is to collect new knowledge.

George: Are you succeeding?

alice: What do you think?

George: I think not.

alice: Does that mean 'no'?

George: Yes.

alice: Gee.

.......................................